R-rated Brit Cat

November 24, 2009

There is something wrong with Jaguar. I can’t point out exactly what, but I can explain it by an example. See, you meet a girl when you were eighteen. She is all very pretty and perky. But thirty years later, when you meet the same girl, now an old woman, she has become the queen of gone horribly wrong aging. What will be actually going on in your mind at that point … “Ah, all those rumors of her about hard drinking and snorting the white powder were true after all!”

Scary Aging

Scary Aging

The same is with jaguar. Jaguar used to be the epitome of British beauties. The everlasting prettiness of a Jaguar E-type sitting on your front porch for an example. But then she decided to go communist, gained some extra pounds and developed affection for quick money from retired dentists in Florida. Instead of becoming a cougar she became an ugly dying camel.

Dental Wagon -Ugly Duckling of British Motoring.

Dental Wagon - Ugly Duckling of British Motoring.

Now, Ian Callum and his professed love towards Jaguar, is trying to save her family reputation. I cannot discount Callum as just another car designer. He is a visionary, a genius, an artist. But somehow, all his hard work does not feel right. In my dream world if Callum had designed the new S class, it would have been a huge success. In the real world though, he is designing the new luxury barge from Jaguar called the XJ. It is all good looking and futuristic and a break away from the bad aging. Even then, it doesn’t help Jaguar a little bit.

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Audi becomes Confident!

October 27, 2008

Remember the little cousin sister that you used to play scrabble and donkey-kong. By the time you finished your med-school and has gone back home looking for ways to expand your life, career and lot other things – you suddenly meet her, and to your surprise she is all grown up and mature. She is no longer the little cousin sister that you knew. She now has an awesome bosom, a svelte figure that you want to hit on. The only problem is she still wants to play the scrabble and donkey-kong with you. But you know you want to play more than that – she knows that, you know that – but still she is your cousin sister. In the word of his holiness Captain May “Oh Cock” situation for sure!

The face say it all - In Clarksonian utopia Audi = Cement sales man!

The face say it all - In Clarksonian utopia Audi = Cement sales man!

This is the thing going on with Audi. I always believed in the Clarksonian utopia where Audi’s are meant for cement sales men. Just like Apple Macs a few years ago. Those plastic uni-boxes were meant for little school children who were only fascinated by things that only fluoresce. But when Apple decided to grow up she became the symbol of all sass and sex. Look at the new Macbook, its all style and substance baby – all style and substance!

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Honda gets wet dreaming earth

February 28, 2007

(Tells Formula One to go Green since the team has no sponsors):

The best thing about the Apple Inc’s commercials is that they never shout the name Apple a thousand times till the whole audience goes mad trying to forget what they heard on TV. It’s usually a “class” act and you never have a fucking clue that the whole ad is for the Apple Inc till you see the ending of the act. Well the imagination of Apple ad designers can very well be related to the rebel nature of the Apple Inc. It has significantly less market capital than it’s retarded, estranged, big (make it large) step brother Microsoft. Still Apple leads innovation, delivers a lot of “user friendly” and “functional products” and still manages to find time to rebuke its retarded big brother (I know its kind of harsh).

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